Bitch Fit

I'm not trying to be naive, or to be selective in whatever I hear. I know they suffer and I know they're dying while I sit comfortably sipping my two sugar flat white after a small serving of pasta. I know they need help and I know damn well that whatever I have now can feed them for at least 3 months. I know that they would gladly give a limb to live the way I do everyday. I fucking know all that. And, yes, my heart goes out to each and every one of them. But don't think for one second that all that knowledge makes me feel better about myself. I fucking don't, and it fucking doesn't! I don't want to be a hard-ass by saying I don't fucking care, but if everytime I have a meal or sit in a comfortable bus or waste food or waste water or spend a lot of money on something I most probably don't need, and you're gonna be all up in my face saying that they don't have anything and that I should feel lucky that I do have what I have, FUCK YOU! You don't know nothin' and all you do is make people feel guilty and feel bad about themselves. Yeah, you! You self-righteous-I-love-people-and-you-are-ignorant, you! Stop buggin' me! I know everything, but knowing and shutting up to me is better than knowing and screaming out loud. Get this through your thick skull. I. CAN'T. DO. ANYTHING. ABOUT. IT. SO. SORRY. I. HAVE. WHAT. I. HAVE. FUCK. OFF. I only do what I can, when I can, and not in front of you.

I know I wear a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my right wrist and a cross necklace-became-bracelet on top of that. I know I go to church every Saturday and Sunday. I know I sing in services and in the choir. I know who my father is. I know every word of the Father's Prayer and I know I am a translator. I know I pray before I eat and when people ask me to. So don't stand in front of me and tell me I should be holy. I'm not! I'm an ordinary person with ordinary needs and I curse like your average sailor. Get off my back about reading the Bible every morning when I wake and night before I sleep. I don't! Too bad for you, I don't care! This is what I do, and those things I do not. You can yack yack yack about everything I do wrong and what I should and shouldn't do and you can mock me about being a faithful person's daughter but I tell you once more, FUCK YOU! Yeah, you! You I'm-so-holy-look-at-me-pray-in-front-of-everybody-I-do-God's-will, you! Do whatever you want. I really don't give a fuck.

See, idiot?! You put me off my dinner. And you know what? I've stopped listening to people like you. Because at the end of the day, I'm the one who sleeps better and wakes up unburdened. Yes I know children all over the world are starving to death. You want to do something about that? Let me see you try. I care, the way I care. I've accepted that sometimes you can't do anything about the world. Someone died of a deadly disease. Pity, but what do you want me to do about that?! Africa is dry and barren, well, tough! Want me to die for them? After you, please.

Yeah, you! I'm having a bitch fit. Fuck, yeah!

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