Simply too early in the morning. (reposted)

A conversation on Friday 6 October 2006, 1:32 am. Reposted for you.

Have I changed?

People change. We all do.

Yes, but have I?

*sigh* Yes, you have. You've changed.

In what way?

Which did you want? For the better or for the worse?

For the worse. I know I've changed for the worse.

Unfair to say that. You've changed, in some respects, yes, for the worse. But others for the better. I've changed. I know I have.

Do you ever doubt yourself?

Doubt myself?

Yes. Question yourself, your capabilities.

I always question myself. Sometimes people do things that surprise themselves. "Hey, I didn't know I could do that! Wow!". You know what I mean.

But you always seem so confident.

Seeming confident do not mean you are confident.

How can that be?

When you always seem confident, when you are seen to exude confidence, people assume you are confident. When you always seem tough, when you're always the one who doesn't panic, the one who is calm and collected, the one who sits down and thinks everything over, the one who thinks twice, that's what people assume you are like, and they rely on you. Everyone will rely on the you that they see, even if that's not the real you.

I dont understand.

When people see you as the strong one, they will rely on you. There would be many people relying on you, and you have no one to rely on, because you will be that one person whom people see as the strong one. And when one day you feel weak, or vulnerable, you will not be able to ask for help to anyone because you're supposed to be strong, tough. You're supposed to have all the solutions and therefore, have no problems to share. And when you do become weak, you cannot show it. Because the minute you show it, and people see how weak you really are, they become confused, because that is not the you that's in their heads. And they doubt you. It's hard when you have an image to maintain. It gets tiring after a while.

Yes. I think I'm starting to understand what you mean.

Good. Everything I've just said is bullshit. Forget them. I've lied to you. Now, milk is the best thing in the world. It goes with tea, coffee, chocolate, cereal... *drinks from the bottle*

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