Pulang atau Pergi?

Akhirnya berangkat. Semua rasanya seperti mengambang. Senang, tidak. Sedih, tidak terlalu juga. Excited, biasa saja. Anxious, entah apa yg mau dijadikan bahan untuk anxious. Rasanya datar. Hanya berpamit-pamitan saja yg menyentil emosi. Lalu bingung karena ada cewe yg ngeliatin terus, lalu senyum manis waktu gue agak dekat. Maksudnya apa ya? Kan, I'm not an actor, I'm not a star. Tapi katanya mirip bintang sinetron. Ah, masa sih?

Lalu take off. Entah kapan dan bagaimana sudah sampai di pesawat, sudah duduk, dan di depan sudah ada Kiki Fatmala. Foto bareng ngga ya? Akhirnya ngga.

Beberapa menit kemudian sudah di udara. Semuanya rasanya miring. Kuping mampat sampai harus telan ludah berkali-kali. Biasanya mereka sedia permen setiap sebelum pergi, tapi kali ini ngga. Cuma air jeruk, pahit pula.

Jakarta dari atas. Lampu semuanya. Indah sekali. Siapa sangka saat lampu-lampu itu mati dan matahari bersinar terang, yg tadinya indah itu jadi macam sampah. Berserakan, berhamburan tidak teratur. Tapi biar bagaimana, it's home, and I love my home.

Makanan hari ini lumayan. Ayam opor dengan sayur labu dan lontong (bisa pilih pasta, tapi masa sih opor pake pasta?). Lahap. Lapar. Dessert-nya Silver Queen mini. Mungkin makanan Indonesia asli terakhir untuk waktu yg sangat lama.

4 jam kemudian, diatas Perth. The City of Lights. Nama yg ironis apalagi kalau dilihat dari atas. Tidak sebanding dengan Jakarta. Harusnya namanya diganti. The City of As Few Lights on As Possible. Lebih cocok. Tempat ini bukan home. Ini cuma persinggahan sementara. Gue benci tempat ini.

Lalu mulai turun. Lagi-lagi harus menyesuaikan tekanan dalam kuping yg membesar. Tanah mendekat. Betul-betul seperti melihat miniatur sebuah kota dari atas. Semuanya teratur, berbentuk kotak-kotak yg rapi. Semakin dekat, mobil-mobil yg masih keluar terlihat lebih jelas. Sebelumnya cuma seperti lilin-lilin kecil yg melayang karena di sekitarnya tidak ada lampu jalan. Makin dekat, tanah makin kosong. Cuma ada pasir dan batu-batu. Menurun mendekati landasan.

...lalu pesawat menukik turun. Landasan terlalu gelap dan pilot salah perhitungan. Roda menghantam pasir dan bukan aspal, lalu hidung pesawat meluncur diatas bebatuan. Badan pesawat terangkat dan terbalik. Kedua sayap pesawat patah dan mesinnya terpelanting menabrak badan pesawat yg masih terguling-guling. Dan semuanya cuma mimpi. Semua ini cuma mimpi dan kamu akan terbangun di kamarmu. Di tempat yg lebih familiar daripada kabin pesawat, dimana kamu memandang dunia berputar di sekitarmu kala orang-orang dalam ruangan itu menjerit, berdoa dan menangis. Kamu akan kembali kerumahmu. Ini cuma mimpi...

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. This is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Perth International Airport, and thank you for flying Garuda Indonesia.

Sialan. Bukan mimpi. Gue kembali.

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