Surprise...

I know. Biasanya kata "surprise" itu diikutin sama tanda seru, tapi sayangnya, dalam konteks ini kejutannya ngga bagus. Come to think of it, ngga semua kejutan itu bagus kan? Some just leave you lying ngejogrok di lante, lemes.

You can't count on people. Loe ngga bisa dengan yakin dan percaya tau kalo seseorang itu akan selalu ada disitu buat elo, no matter what, through thick and thin, no matter how annoying and bawel you will ever be. At the end, akan ada waktu dimana dia sadar bahwa elo itu menyebalkan, dan membosankan, dan ternyata elo ngga semenarik yg dia kira dulu. Ternyata you're just another new person in their life, yg akhirnya akan bikin dia jenuh. Loe bukan their court jester anymore. Now you're just the annoying girl next door. Dan apa yg orang lakukan dengan hal-hal yg membosankan? Of course, cari yg baru. You can't count on people to love you forever. Surprise...

Loe kira hidup loe udah mulai content. Semua mulai jalan sesuai mau loe. Terus loe sadar kalo sebenernya bukan itu yg loe mau. Loe mau lebih. Loe selalu mau lebih. Kalo sekarang gaji loe segitu, loe mau tambah. Kalo sekarang loe kerja disitu, loe mau pindah. Dari dulu loe mau punya kamar sendiri, sekarang loe punya, tapi loe ngga hepi. Loe mau balik lagi, sharing kamar sama satu atau dua orang lain. Loe sadar kalo kamar sendiri itu sepi. Loe seneng udah ngga perlu bergantung lagi sama orangtua buat uang, tapi loe sadar kalo ternyata hal-hal kecil kaya gitu yg masih ngiket elo sama orangtua loe. Kapan terakhir loe telpon bonyok loe dirumah? Akhirnya kejadian lagi. Loe kehilangan, tanpa mereka harus bener-bener hilang. Surprise...

Loe kira temen-temen loe akan selalu jadi ruang nyaman loe. Dimana ada loe, ada mereka. Dimana ada mereka, ada loe. Dan tiba-tiba loe sadar kalo ternyata selama ini, loe cuma denger tertawa mereka di ruang-ruang lain. Loe ada dimana? Ternyata ruang nyaman loe, ngga seruangan sama loe. Surprise...

Loe buka-buka friendster (omg masih jaman?). Loe liat foto si ini, si itu, orang-orang yg dulu ngewarnain hidup smp sma elo, dan loe kangen. Sumpah, loe kangennya ngga nahan, terus loe sadar kalo loe ngga pernah keep contact sama mereka. Loe ngga pernah sms, telpon, kirim email, apapun yg bikin mereka terus ada di hidup elo. Dan sekarang elo ngga bisa tiba-tiba sok akrab, karena loe ngga tau apa yg bakal loe bilang kalo mereka tanya, "Selama ini loe kemana aja?". Surprise...

Loe kira loe pinter. Surprise...

I've said "surprise" so many times now it means nothing. Bego. Dan iya, gue sedang curhat. Surprise!!!

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