Sad.

She still loves him. She keeps his pictures in a secret folder in her computer, and in the deepest darkest corners of her heart. She avoids any conversation that involves him and things that remind her of him, but she listens to his songs and secretly finds out about him from the little frail channels that she keeps just to maintain a piece of him in her life. She looks for new men, but searches for him inside every one of them. She refuses to begin a new relationship because she’s saving herself for him, and she’s still hoping he will return. She’s still hoping he will change. That he realized he’s made a mistake and that she is the one he really needs. She still believes in that happy ending. She looks for his perfume in every particle of air she breathes, and cries when she finds it. She remembers their good times and forgets that blade still cutting her heart in little pieces. She loves the memory of him and that makes his betrayal all right, normal. She says she is over him but she knows she lies. And she can’t see that she’s wasting her time, her life, her energy on someone who has left. Someone who cares nothing of her and for her.

I see all these things. I’m that person standing with arms outstretched, waiting for her to let go, because I will catch her. I will break her fall even if that means I will have to feel pain. I want to tell her it’s okay to fall. I need to tell her that I have caught every fallen teardrop from her eyes and kept it in a jar, because her tears are priceless, and that she shouldn’t waste them on him. I wish she would just look down and see me, and realize that I would keep her from harm.

Do you know you’re beautiful? Too beautiful to cry?

I will wait. I have always waited.

And if it’s the only thing that will make her happy, I will become him for her. Even if it kills me.

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