GUE BUKAN BATMAAANNNN!!!!

Gue baru dapet temen baru. Dia tuw temennya sepupu gue. Anak balikpapan tapi lagi di malang. Kenalan lewat cetting. Gue tuw kalo cetting kan ceritanya bisa ampe malem. Abis orang" kan kalo cetting sukanya malem". Kenapa yaaaa....? Eniwei gue udah kenalan truz dia udah sering sms gue gituh. Nah! Manusia satu ini mentang" kalo cetting amah gue itu malem" ampe pagi gag tau jem brapah, dia itu manggil gue BATMAN! Kebayang gag? Manusia secantik inih dibilang batman? Manusia aneh yang keluarnya malem", pake topeng yang gag jelas, gag bisa terbang, bajunya ketat" ampe nipple keliatan kemana", truz berpasangan homo dengan manusia yang nganggep dirinya ituh burung, pake baju ketat" juga, and (catet yaaa.....) gag punya girlfriend (jangan itung batgirl, dia ituw cuma gebetan duank. Aslinya dia amah batman ituw pasangan homo). Mohon maaf sebesar"nya buat semua fans Batman di luar sanah. Ini fakta loooo.... Hihhiihhihiihihihi..... Makanya! Gue gag terima dikatain Batman! Gue yakin banget tuw di hape dia pasti nama gue Batman. Do, kalo loe baca ini... GANTIIIIIIII!!!!!

Hehehehhehehe.... Gue udah mulai settle di rumah ini. Masih suka takut kalo ditinggal sendirian, tapi udah lumayan. Doakan ajah gue gag kenapah" yaaa....

O iyah gue jadi inget. Hehehehe.... Pada suatu malam (ciehh...) kira" seminggu abis gue masuk ke rumah yang "indah" ini, semua orang rumah pegih ke airport nganterin sodara. Gue ditinggal di rumah sendirian. Mereka cabut jem 8 malem. Gue udah panas dingin soalnya gue tauk pasttiiii baliknya lama. Ya udah. Gue pikir: "Sa, berdoa ajah. Mudah"an gag ada yg iseng malem inih." Udah gitu malem ituh tuw panaaass banget. Kayanya 20an derajat lebih deh. Jadi gue keringetan tapi ituh keringet dingin. Gag enak buanget kaan! Iya. Jadi akhirnya gue nonton vcd. Pertama andai ia tahu, udah gitu itu udah kira" jem setengah 10an gitu deh. Gue mulai freaking out. Abis kayak denger footsteps di atap rumah gituw. Kan gue serem bouw! Apalagi imajinasi gue ini emang terlalu bagus kalo yg masalah gitu"an. Jadilah gue telpon temen gue.

Tuuut...tuuut...
Edo: Ngapa saa...?
Gue: Takuuuuuuttt!!!! Gue ndirian neeee.... Gimana duunk!
Edo: Uda laa... Gag ada apah" koq.
Gue: Pale loe gendut! Serem neee.....
Edo: Uda... kalo ada apah" telepon gue. Ntar gue suruh temen gue dateng nemenin eloh.
Gue: Sialannnn loe dooooo!!!!
.....

Gue nonton vcd 1 lagi. Gue uda gag perhatiin ituh isinya apah. Tv ituh kan blakangnya jendela ngadep ke halaman belakang. Halaman belakang ituh gag ada lampunyah. Itu bagus juga seh. Jadi gue gag bisa liat apah". Udah gitu pintunya kan kasa amah yg diluar tuw pintu biasa. Itu tuw diganjel supaya ada angin masuk. Gue dikit" liat kesitu, liat ke kiri kanan. Tiap kali ada suara gue uda siap" pingsan atoh kalo masi kuat lariiiii keluar! Iyah sodara". Gue mang penakut banget, dan gue bangga mengakuinyaaa (loh?). Udah jem setengah 12 gue udah mpot"an. Suara" makin banyak dan bayangan makin serem. Gue mutusin, kalo jem 12 mereka belon balik, gue mo keluar ke depan rumah nungguin mereka.

And that's exactly what I did setengah jem kemudian. Gue bediri di luar! Yak betul sodara". Gue bediri di luar sendirian jem 12 malem teng di depan rumah gue. Nah, rumah kos"an gue ituh depannya di renovasi. Jadi kalo dari luar keliatannya kayak rumah baru mo dibangun. Gelap" gituh. Rambut gue tuh panjang, tapi gue iket seh waktu ituh. Udah gitu gue pake kaos item amah clana pendek ijo. Gambar kaosnya barong. Wahahahahah..... hasilnya, gue gag takut lagi! Yg ketakutan malah orang" yang lewat malem ituh. Ada orang yg nglaksonin (kirain gue mabok kale ye), ada juga oma" ngliatiiiiinnn gue dari jauh ampe jauh lagi. Huahauahahahahha.... Akhirnya orang" rumah pada balik. Ngliatin gue di luar sendirian mereka bingung kali ya? Trus ngedeketin gue pelan" sambil nanya gue kenapa. Hehehehe.... Sambil nyengir" yang bikin tampang gue lebih jelek dari kuda ato kambing manapun gue jawab: "Gag koq tante. Saya kepanasan gag bisa tidur lagi nyari angin." Tantenya langsung bilang oooooh sambil masang tampang lega. Trus dia bilang: "Tante kira kamu ketakutaan!" Gue bilang: "Ngga koq. Hehehehe...." Padahal.....

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